Recently, I've come across another situation I have learned is very common in life, a situation where I realized I could not trust someone (or in this case, multiple people). It's not anyone in the gyaru space, but something I figured I'd type out on my blog to release my emotions and understand my own frustration.
Situations like these really bother me, as I am a very trusting person on default. There's social cues I keep an eye out for to learn if I can trust people or not, so I have filtered out a lot of people, so rarely do I allow people I don't trust in my life.
Thanks to my friend Earl, I realize I have dealt with 4 instances of this in life. Some with similarities, some with none.
The first was 2016-2019. The Second was 2023-2025. The Third was 2025. The fourth is currently ongoing. If anything, it's been something going on since 2023 as well, but it's only become more and more apparent.
I think what is the most interesting similarity is all 4 instances deal with someone I did not personally trust, but with someone I was introduced to via a mutual party. I think if usually someone I trust puts their trust in someone else, they can be seen as trustworthy. This is a bad idea I have learned. You must learn to trust them yourselves.
The most frustrating part of realizing you cannot trust someone, is realizing many things told to you have been lies. I hate being lied to. It causes a lot of discomfort.
I think in the 1st, 2nd, and 4th instance, I realized multiple people were feigning politeness, and have an issue they don't want to speak to me about. I will say it took until 2025 for me to come to terms that difficult conversations are important for growth, so I will note I would not have spoken of issues with the 1st or 2nd as I was not a mature person. When it came to the third person, I will also admit there was a glimmer of hope and I gave them a first chance, but they blew it within an hour, and I removed them from my life.
Speaking of the solution? Is it possible to remove people who you don't trust in your life? Fully? I think so. I have done it three times already. All three in an immature way of just cutting off almost all contact. It's not the best, but if I cannot trust them as a friend, would one conversation make them change? I think not.
The current situation is much more difficult, but I realize as I type this, I have hit the point where I am on the outside of the situation and realizing I was lied to. However in this case, I cannot just silently burn the bridge as this situation has too much at play. My current emotions are hurt and frustration. Hurt because I thought connections were better, hurt because I didn't realize something was wrong. Frustrated that I have to find things out due to an accidental slip of the tongue, or via banana phone (which some of the banana phone isn't even trusted.)
However, I will be ok. Typing this out helped a lot. But I think with a session of complaining, I must take something and learn from it.
1) Trust my gut and my gut only. Even if a trusted friend vouches for someone, I must learn to trust them on my own.
2)Prove my trustworthiness to people, which means being honest, being open to communicate, and approachable, and being able to come to a solution.
3)Oddly enough, I need to take people's word. It backfires on someone who isn't saying the truth, but if I take their word, is there anything truly wrong I am doing? I cannot take what someone says and twist it because I don't trust them, I cannot spend this energy trying to figure out what they're saying.
4) I must not let this consume my life. Untrustworthy people are meant to lose to a more formidable foe than me. I am just a gyaru goddamnit.
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