8/17 - Things I regret buying as a gal

 Trying to be more mindful of my purchases and I thought I would go through and type out some various types of purchases of things I've regretted buying. This way I can look back on it and truly think about my purchase history and stop myself before buying it again. I'm also just trying not to doom scroll on my phone so I figured just typing out my thoughts here would be good!

• + Items for a one time look - I always want to wear something new and unique to fun events, in a way I think it's to show up and beat my previous look, but honestly... what's wrong with a repeat... or changing it up in a fun way! But I've made many purchases that were a one time wear and I've looked at the item and said... wow I really have nowhere else to wear this now huh! A lot of this is the more glitzy old school kyaba dresses. My modern day kyaba dresses I can get away with wearing out more I think, but the frilly homecoming ones... its just more difficult!
• + Kiss Lash Glue - I don't know why, I can never go back to this since I used dollywink. It just never works right for me, my lashes will be falling off within an hour or two sometimes.
• + Heroine mascara and eyeliner - This might be controversial, but I just am not a fan. With the mascara, you really need to either scrub with an oil based cleanser or have the specific mascara remover. The liner also dries out super fast and it is hard to apply, even with the brush tip applicator which is my usual go to for liners. Very disappointing. Branding is very cute but agh.... 
• +Old pleather items. These peel so fast it's disappointing for real.
• +The same thing in another color - WHY BRENNA............ JUST PICK ONE COLOR...... I've started forcing myself to have one kyaba dress in each color (the only exceptions are blue and pink... I have 3 of each I fear). And if I like a style of dress, why get it in the same color? Just pick the color that works best.
• +Things other gals tell me I need. I'm starting to stop myself before listening to other gals because... am I buying the item to impress other gals? Or am I buying it because I really want it myself? There's been a massive push from gals and like... yes get your bag but I have to stop myself before being influenced I fear.
• +Purple lenses - They just don't fucking work on my blue eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I want a natural lens I gotta just go with blue!!!!!!!!!

8/13 - Shopping addiction is not fun. Addiction is not fun.

This is a personal post, in reaction to seeing someone mention a shopping addiction in a paid partnership promotion. I won't name this person as I don't want to send them any negativity, but I feel like the gal community always makes light of shopping addiction and consumer culture, but I know for me personally, this has been a very serious issue and I just feel like being a bit vulnerable about it might help someone else out.

I know I used to joke about it, but I've become more self aware of my problem as I have become a casino dealer, and I have become in much closer of a proximity to gambling addiction. Additionally, I've become more aware of people in my proximity with alcohol addictions. Addiction in general sucks, and its hard to get out of. I am sympathetic towards those in addiction, and at the same time, I've become hyper aware of myself and my shopping addiction. 

For me personally, shopping used to be the only way I felt in control of my life. Up until these past few years, I felt like my life was being decided for me. I felt like the outcome of my life depended on the decision of others, and my life was going in a direction I did not like. Shopping and buying things I enjoyed helped me feel more in control. It wasn't even with gal, there was the time I bought the same CD 30+ for the limited edition can badges. I would buy oodles and oodles of merchandise of my favorite characters to just stare at in my room.

With gal, it got worse with the clothes. There's so many clothes, lenses, accessories, wigs, just so much to be able to buy and it's hell. Opening a magazine and seeing a piece of clothing I HAD to have. There's also the flex culture in gal too, having the most brand, the most unique pieces, etc...  HELL! I own the same coat in 3 different colorways. I spent 2 grand on one of them out of pure fucking spite. It did have a serious effect on my shopping habits. Additionally, going to anime conventions did not help. Those places can be money pits if you're not careful. 

Where can this end up? Debt. Lots of debt. It's not fun, and being in an endless pit of debt where you try to crawl out, but then one relapse and months of hard work... fallen down the drain. 

It's not a fun marketing thing, you really need to think about what you buy, why you buy, and if you'll wear it. I have so many pieces in my closet I've yet to wear, I had items I bought years ago, wore once, and I am finally coming to terms I need to part with it for the sake of my sanity. It's not fun, it feels guilty to remove all the clothing. Also if you're reading this hounding for my wardrobe fuck off I have a queue of gals I ask first before I make it publicly available to anyone else.

I wanted to link a video I watched recently How brands sell to lonely girls

It hit a lot with me, a lot of the times I shopped was when I felt lonely or my life wasn't in control. Recently, there's been a big life event where I feel out of control, but I am going to take control of my life. There is also a life event where I feel like I'm in control and its balancing out well... it's nice. I think filling my life with things where I feel happy and in control... I'm less likely to spend money. Also less anime cons. I'm actually going to like. Maybe 1 next year. I plan to sort through my cosplays soon and like, purge a whole lot.

I do want to end this on a positive note, I recently looked at my finances, and applied and got approved for a loan to consolidate my debt. I should be able to pay it off in 4 years with the minimum payment. I'm going to be able to pay off one of my student loans at the end of this month, I'm going to really be able to start putting money aside in savings, I'm really excited for this new journey.

I'd also like to try and document the items I haven't coordinated and try to coordinate them. Maybe this is another post, but I've been transitioning from agejo to ane agejo/modern kyabajo, and with that, I've been cycling my wardrobe, but I think it's finally at a place I literally don't need anything else. But there's still a lot to wear... so I will do my best to wear them all.

TLDR... please don't joke about addiction in your marketing posts. Addiction is serious, it's not fun. 

6/2 - I want to enjoy cosplay again, but I can't figure out how.

 This is sort of a depressing blog, as it's been something on my mind. There's a local anime convention this weekend, and I thought about going, but I really have no urge to go, and there's a lot of hidden ... disgruntlements? I've had with cosplay for almost 10 years now.

When I started going to cons and cosplaying at 13/14, I really wanted to meet like minded people who just wanted to nerd out and have fun, and the local cons in my area were the perfect place to do it. I had met so many wonderful people who I still keep in my heart to this day (Devon and Faith especially!!! Some of my OGs I've known for over 10 years now!!). There was such a joy in meeting up with friends and just hanging out, and sitting around the con, buying a cute little trinket, and just having fun.

Once I hit college and started going to the bigger cons, something negative started creeping up, and remained until covid, and then reappeared post-covid. I realized a few years ago I was spending all this money but the socializing never really came back the same way. And I know if I look hard enough, I can get the same experience I had when I was younger, so maybe I just need to try that again.

I will say when I went to dashcon last year, it was the closest I ever felt to that wonderful feeling again. I met so many wonderful people and I'm so devastated I can't go this year.

I think my goals to enjoy cosplay and maybe even cons again are to limit the cons I go to, and only go for the sake of friends. Katsucon and CTGamercon were so fun because I got to see so many friends! Otakon is going to be fun because I will see so many friends!!! Zenkaikon last year was fun because once again!!! So many friends!!!! 

I think in general, I do want to try more crafting. I was going to attempt to make Lebanne for Otakon, but I think Devon and I talked about just doing cute outfits and making this more of a vacation which includes going to a con vs just a con. Also my arda order is still on backorder so... lol.... 

I also have a lot of costumes I have been meaning to fix up. I think maybe I'll try to document this and work on it to keep myself accountable!!!!!!!! Argh!!!!! It'll happen!! But first... Mini Bacc class. 

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5/9 - The bit continues: I talk about the Light Phone III

I just realized I never really updated on my thoughts on the light phone III now that I have it in my hands! I've had it for almost 2 months now, and I want to talk about it. 

The first point is I haven't fully gotten off my iPhone yet. I did move my sim card, but due to the MFA required, and having to have it on me at specific times right now for reasons I cannot get into, the phone is still pretty close by. I'm hoping by June where the reasons I cannot get into are no longer valid that I can really work on further disconnecting myself from using my iPhone.

In terms of the lightphone itself, I want to talk about aspects I use and my thoughts.

Texts - Not bad, aside from the fact that some Iphone only GCs are now permanently broken, where I can send texts but I cannot receive their texts. There's only 2 GCs affected, but it's still a pain. It can be weird to get used to texting, but I've gotten used to it after awhile.

Phone calls - Not too bad! No real issues so far except if I call someone when they call me at the same time, the phone bugs the HELL out.

Hotspot - Pretty nice. I only use it if I have my iphone on me and need to use it in a place I don't have wifi, or for longer GPS requirements.

GPS - This is pretty good, except I am a bit sad about the battery draining if the trip is more than 30 minutes. My current workaround is using my iphone, but I am hoping to get a garmin one day for my longer treks.

Photos - Cool! I have to plug it into my computer to upload them, but it's cool.

Music - 20 gigs.... ohhhhh this is great. Additionally it's uploading mp3s, so I can rip cds, purchase from bandcamp, etc. I just sort of wish there was a playlisting option.

I will say I am excited to see what additional items will come out, there's going to be some like community built features coming out eventually which is super cool to see. 

Overall, I don't regret this purchase, the next step is to just ensure that I get myself in the proper space to like... actually get off the iphone!!

5/9 - Local gal disappears

Wow!!!!!! It's been a bit!!!!!! This past month and a half has been really busy with the second job as well as dog watching, and I've been focused on starting some room renovations. It's been a bit weird not wearing as many codes but I've been working on make, so it's been fun to do that!

It's been weird since after I got my babymetalclub order and a dia setup.... I haven't bought a lot of new clothes. Which feels weird... but thats good!!!! 

This month, a lot of my spare spending money is going towards my room renovations, where I'm turning my office space into a closet and then turning my bed space into a non clothing space, that way I have one messy room and one clean room. I hope this makes sense... LOL. 

Once I get those done, I definitely want to share! It's kind of a mess right now so its just... difficult LOL!

The biggest thing I've struggled with is like holding off buying things until I REALLY need them. Like I want to also get a new comforter set and sheet set, but I am trying to hold off until I'm all set with moving my furniture around. I want to buy new dressers, but I'm nowhere near that step yet. The next step is actually putting together our vacuum to vacuum off all the wood dust that fell out when I was tearing the old dresser apart!!! And my god that was hard... it was not ikea furniture, it was old, rusting, and everything was hammered together. I understood why the old tenant left it as a "gift". And also not sponsored, I went on reddit to understand how my city's waste pickup worked, and turns out it is horrible, and someone said to try 1-800 got junk. It was about 300 bucks including the tip, but they picked it up, brought stuff down the stairs, and the cursed dresser is gone! Also, same day!!! And they showed up an hour earlier than estimated!! And they called me in advance to let me know!!! Ray and Keith were great!!! 

In terms of like... makeup and styling, I really need to get my roots redone, I have held off on doing them myself, but I need to schedule time and money to get it done. Also, I've been frustrated with my make recently, specifically my lashes and brows, so I picked up some new lashes to see if I can play around with them and make it work, as well as getting a hopefully yellow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! brow gel!!!! since all the blonde pencils I've purchases are like ash blonde and not yellow blonde. lol. lmao even.

Hopefully this summer is more fruitful!! Also I gotta blog NYC one day.. maybe not today.

3/22 - Yap on Lenses

 What's up y'all, I feel like I should be sharing my review of lenses because I play around with a lot of different lenses, various MM, various brands, etc. This isn't going to have like all the lenses I use, some might be like... types of lenses LOL. Does this make sense? Also don't use this as like an official resource obvy I'm gonna mention a website I don't even use myself but I know at least one gal has! This is all my personal thoughts you can take advice or not.

Also, my natural eye color is blue/gray. A very fun color to work with. A lot of lenses are made with darker eyes in mind. If you don't use lenses, I wouldn't use such big lashes or large eye make as the lack of lenses can cause the look to feel... off!

This was how I did my looks... a long time ago lol. I would say my eye diameter is probably in the 14mm-14.1mm range. 

Daily vs Yearly

I think this comes down to "how much money do I want to spend!" but also the type of look you are going for as well as your lifestyle. Sometimes it's easier for me to just use daily lenses to not have to worry about carrying a spare lens case around, I find them much more comfy, and as I now have to deal with smoking a lot more, I don't have to worry about it effecting the lenses I wear. 

Now, I will say a lot of the daily lenses I buy are more of an enhanced but not super opaque look. I have bought more opaque daily lenses, but they're advertised as cosplay lenses. If I want a cosplay lens, I'll usually go to get yearly (though I have actually used daily cosplay lenses and like those too... I may be doing more of that in the future.)

There's also a monthly and 6 monthly option, I try not to get those personally, but it's another option!

Brand websites

I have bought lenses from 3 places, Pinkyparadise and PushColor are my go to spots. I have also bought from Sigocontacts before once. The website you buy from tends to be based on what you're looking for, how you're advertised to, etc. Most gals will recommend pinkyparadise or pushcolor depending on what your vibe is. You may also see gals with coupon codes for various places, I would recommend using them. For example if you're on eyemoody you can use princessjo for 15% off (I just saw Jordan share this code so I will too... mayhaps I need to check out eyemoody).

I like Pinkyparadise for my yearly lenses, and PushColor for the lenses from JP brands I like. I will say Pushcolor doesn't have the new loveil purple lenses... if a gal knows a website I can order that from let a girl know!! 

I do tend to order more from Pushcolor for dailies, this gets into a large discussion on...

The color

Here's where I get a bit chatty. As I have blue eyes, you have to hope a lot of these colors will show on blue eyes. 

Now blue lenses? Those are nice as they add a bit of oomph to your pre-existing eye, but it won't change your eyes too much. Green lenses could also work really well too. Blue and Green are good.

Light colors that are not super opaque? They will only change your eyes slightly. Some lenses I've used barely changed the look at ALL!!! super lame. You want pink daily lenses that pop? Yeah not happening with blue eyes... even some purples... it's just like blue with slight oomph.

Dark colors that are not super opaque? Still a slight change, but you miiight see something? It's like. a fucking.  science experiment. It sucks sometimes.

I've noticed hazels and yellows definitely give an effect due to the blue/yellow cancelling each other out... it's a nice look. 

Your best bet is opaque lenses if you want a distinct new color, and even then some blue will end up peeking through unless you are crazy and get a lens that like... covers almost all of your iris, however the color of the lens will peek through and you'll lose it. That happened with the Porslen Butterfly Blue lenses. WILD!!!!

The biggest thing for light eyes... get a limbal ring. The limbal ring adds the gyaru oomph that the lack of opaqueness doesn't do very well. 

The diameter

If you are doing dramatic gal make, the bigger the diameter the better. I usually like 14.4mm - 14.5mm, but I also love a good 15mm. If you are doing smaller gal make, you could go below, or if you're just looking to have different colored eyes, 14.2 mm is good. 

Ok girl but the brand recommendations??

Right, right. Ok, so here's what I recommend, with pictures.

If you buy from pinkyparadise, look up "Mimi" and you'll find the Princess Mimi and the Geo Mimi, those are some great natural colored circle lenses. I have two lenses from these lines and  I enjoy them immensely.  

Princess Mimi Dolly Chocolate Brown

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Geo Mimi Waffle Grey. 

If you buy from Pushcolor, I really enjoy the Loveil line so much. A lot of the dailies I wear are loveil.... koda kumi you have my heart. 

Loveil Mermaid Aqua

Loveil Lollipop Pink except one lenses is inside out (very fun deformity where the lens got printed on the wrong way... lol)

Loveil Honey Trick (look at how big and beautiful my eyes are here.... yes)

Loveil Bijou Black

Loveil Addict Blonde (I was pitbull in this ok).

Other brands I have used are

• Gal Never Die - I've only gotten one pair from the brand, it's good quality, I just got the like suuuper light lenses which just made my eyes look a lil creepy.
• N's Collection. These are my 14.2 mm which I use moreso when I go bouldering and don't wanna wear my glasses LOL. The yellow are fine, blueberry jam is OK, but the blue lenses... oh I enjoy those... a lot.
• Bambi Series - The Blueberry Moon lenses are big and good. I do get those confused with my loveil 15mm lenses lol.. I haven't rebought them recently since I ordered some of the new loveil 15mm in the navy color to see how it is.
• Cosmagia and Full Bloom for cosplay lenses. I really liked these, nice and ocmfy, but only comes with 3 pairs in a box. 
• Ferenne - I just got these in pink to see what they'd be like. They're comfy, the pink isn't super noticeable on me, but it's cute!

I also want to add in my friend MJ's eyes because they wore these for a cosplay at Katsu. Not as noticeable as the promo photo, but they are quite cute on dark eyes me thinks.. Japanese daily lenses are made for dark eyes in mind so it makes sense.

Interesting how the same color of lenses can look different on people LOL!

• Primore - They were cute, 15mm pink so they didn't show up the best. I wouldn't get them in pink again for me personally.
• Resay - I saw some models say they wear this brand so I got the blue ones and they're super cute. I'd say very similar to loveil in style. Will consider picking these up again in the future. The Heavens Sky is similar to Mermaid Aqua from loveil, just an extra .1mm diameter.
• Twinkle Eyes - BIG FAN! Big fan. Once I need to do a large restock I'll be grabbing more of these. Not as big of a limbal ring but I just liked how they looked.

And I cannot speak much on the contacts from sigocontacts as I ordered a purple pair and it was ... ok but not that exciting. I was disappointed with the butterfly blue from porslen color as they are a bitch to wear, the blue actually gets in my vision, and if I drive at night all the lights get like... fucking WACK!!!! This is nothing against sigocontacts, just the brand they distribute lol... 

Uh yeah that's it I think. All my yap on lenses. 

3/21 - The important parts of gals I didn't realize

 More mind talk yadda yadda but 1) my opinion on this continues to develop and 2) came up in my mind today due to lots of recent conversations with gals in the community.

I think within the past few months I've realized there is actually an importance to meeting gals offline, to the point I held my first gal meet today. I always said I didn't want to do it, but I made a promise and I was determined to keep it. 

I think the online community is great, and I have a few great friends who are quite far, but when I have had the opportunity to meet up with my mutuals in real life, it's been so nice! From meeting with Erin, to the Boston gal meet, to meeting up with Lyn and Darcy, and Bri, and Nini, and now with the gal meet today. There is something just so nice to meet up with other gals. 

The first thing is just... you don't have to talk about gal the whole time. Sometimes you're getting to know someone or just talking about the event or the area you're at. I loved sharing my favorite spots with friends, as well as discovering new spots. I also just loved learning more about people too! I think it's also easier for me to hold in person conversations vs text conversations, but that's just a personal thing. 

Additionally, even though some gals style themselves differently, it's all so fun when we come together and just have fun. All the discourse of "who is a valid gal" and the demands to be seen as a gal disappear as we all know who is a gal... its the people at the gal meet. It does turn into a place of positivity and it's... REALLY NICE! I know this is sort of cheesy, but it's really true!!! 

And I think that just kind of leads back into my point of... we don't have to prove to people we're gal. We don't have to demand respect from people, and we can just keep being passionate on our makeup, our fashion, our joy... and it's so fun. You will find out a lot of gals have different goals but at the end of the day... we're all here to have fun!!!!!

Life has been sort of stressful recently, but the meet we had today was really good... I'll do my best to blog it in the future. Maybe tomorrow? I just wanted to get some thoughts out hehe.