Yap - Noticing Change in Self Image and my fashion identity

Kind of a personal post today, so only really will be seen by the folks who check in once in awhile, but I wanted to write this out.

Since 2024, I've been trying to make a conscious effort to wear more of my gal items out, if it's Wednesday and a karaoke day, it's a day to put together a code, when I'm going out on an excursion, I try to put together a code. This of course doesn't happen all the time, but I've even started just... wearing pink more. And I was already known as a pink thing for a long time!

I have really been enjoying how I present, I've kind of suppressed the want to be an overly feminine girly woman for years, may it be due to comments from others, unwanted comments from men, or just me wondering if it's worth spending the money and if it'd even work. With discovering gyaru, it felt like something awoke in me. 

Now, I started trying to wear pieces out in 2022, but I was suffering a lot with self image still, a lot of mental health issues, and then end of 2023 and start of 2024 was just... really bad. But falling back in love with gyaru and just working on being me and dressing myself up... it felt so nice. I also was surrounding myself with people who cared and working on my mental health, which has helped a LOT with dealing with the idgafism of the gyaru subculture. 

Also because I have no idea when I'll wear this, I want to share a moment of euphoria I felt when I put together this potential outfit for last weekend (I ended up not wearing it lol). I haven't had long hair in half a year!! Putting on this wig with this outfit just like... made me so happy. I will definitely find time to wear this... maybe Katsucon lol. I just really enjoy the pink... the sultry factor... but also the girlyness of it all. It's just so fun!!!! 

I actually did feel kind of an opposite vibe today when trying to put together an outfit... now it is Wednesday but due to the cold weather + bowling I decided to do a more casual look, and my first attempt of just putting on jeans a t-shirt was... not good. I realized I've become SO picky with my silhouette and I can't just throw anything on anymore if I want to go out!! It does sound a bit... hm... self-indulged? I'm worried too much about my image? But I just feel a bit more happy when I've put myself together. I don't really care if someone else thinks I look good, it's about what I think and what I'm happy with.

... I didn't take a picture but I'm actually almost in full "Alba Baka" co*de rn, except no make so it's moreso I look like the Alba Rosa target audience LMAO. I don't own a lot of Alba Rosa clothing, but I figured it would be fun to wear since I've gotta wear my coat out to brave the extremely cold weather. 

That's kind of all I got! Just a small yap. I'm off to go bowl in an hour... and work on a parapara agenda.